Seeing his own personality push back on his, the fragments of Jack's perceptions of him, doesn't particularly make him any less self-loathing. Ianto's always fought society's perceptions of who he should be. His family would have been happy with him staying home, working at a shop, but he pushed back.

Now here he is, trying to push forward, through a haze of self-doubt and hate, to the person he really is, underneath all the false memories. Cowardly unless faced with life-threatening danger or unless someone he loves is suffering. First his focus was Lisa, now it's Jack, and even being this close he can remember how Jack makes him feel. It hurts, because he's trying to put that love before all the hate and false desire to kill.

He is a constant in Ianto's life, something to focus on when all other parts of his being could be doubted. He's passionate, painfully and stupidly loyal, almost blind to Jack's faults but never completely forgetting that the other man won't let himself fall in love because it never turns out well. Everyone around him dies, and Ianto has always accepted that it's only a matter of time before he does as well. Facing this hurts, and he bites down a choked noise, resisting the urge to pull back and hide again. "That's who I am, not who Adam told me I am."