eelseason: (/OOC: Snark)
Jack Harkness ([personal profile] eelseason) wrote2009-04-20 02:13 pm
Entry tags:

[MEME] And then there were children.

Stolen from the internet.

Leave a comment and I will come up with the hypothetical kid between any of my muses (List BTR) (List Epic) and any of yours (assuming I know them at least well enough to pretend that I know them well enough to write them). Terms of parent-child relationship are left to the management. Children may be biological and natural, in-vitro, adopted, surrogate, changechildren, left on a doorstep in a handbasket, or pretty much whatever needs to happen. Any requests for children parented by [livejournal.com profile] john_thane will incur a karmic penality. Memes are not intended to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease. This contract is not canonicity-binding.

[identity profile] sarkraticmethod.livejournal.com 2009-04-20 07:50 pm (UTC)(link)
[livejournal.com profile] nowinprint/[livejournal.com profile] nowherexboy
[livejournal.com profile] soldatceryi/[livejournal.com profile] ornobodywill
[livejournal.com profile] der_weevilkonig
[livejournal.com profile] nowinprint/[livejournal.com profile] sarkraticmethod

I like giving options! Options are fun, even if some of them are full of WHAT?

[identity profile] kawaiispinel.livejournal.com 2009-04-20 07:59 pm (UTC)(link)
...That was supposed to be [livejournal.com profile] neverinportland, but Juliet probably COULD figure out how to make that happen. She impregnated male mice. I don't trust her with a proper lab and a vendetta.
ext_25002: The TARDIS on the Plass, in front of the Millennium Centre (BTR*!T: Psychic brick wall speaks YOU!!)

[identity profile] allfireburns.livejournal.com 2009-04-20 08:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Take your pick!

[livejournal.com profile] hey_capn_jack/[livejournal.com profile] techniclybrill
[livejournal.com profile] nowinprint/[livejournal.com profile] techniclybrill
[livejournal.com profile] hey_capn_jack/[livejournal.com profile] definitivestep
[livejournal.com profile] the_vesmier/[livejournal.com profile] thatsortofaman

...wow, it's impressive how that went from angsty to semi-serious to CRACK. Well, at least you have options!
nowinprint: (Let's talk quantum physics)

[personal profile] nowinprint 2009-04-20 08:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[livejournal.com profile] nowinprint/[livejournal.com profile] techniclybrill

"We should have a kid," are the first five words out of Dmitri's mouth when she hops onto Toshiko's desk with a messenger bag slung over her shoulder and a pint of sweet pecan ice cream in her hand. She flips the spoon, offering it to Tosh handle-first, and follows it up with "you know, homeschooled, definitive proof that the American school system wastes the potential of the growing years to learn complex fields like language and differential calculus. Also, woman, you desperately need offspring."

Tosh takes the spoon for no reason other than the fact that the reasoning portion of her brain is trying to reason its way through Dmitri, and the instinctual portion says that when someone obviously wants you to take something, you take it. A moment later the ice cream is thrust into her hands as well, and Dmitri is digging something out of her bag. Tosh manages to get as far as "What...? A child," before Dmitri drops an overstuffed folder down in front of her.

"Don't worry, fruit van mijn gelukkige boom, I'm not talking about the weird parasitic awkward gestation thing, 'less you're into it. Kendall, you know, the old forger from the big O – yeah, Kendall got all the information a Wanderer needs to legally adopt in this state, and odds are ten in my favor that I could get the Doctor to hack the database. He owes me for that thing with the aerial kelp." She kicks out her heels, giving Tosh a look. "Oh, and I cleared it with Jack."

Tosh is left holding ice cream and a spoon and staring at the folder before she looks up at Dmitri again, getting as far as "You cleared–" before it occurs to her that she's got no idea whether or not to be annoyed about that. On the one hand, she'd appreciate it if Dmitri wouldn't go over her head when her own hypothetical children, not that she knew she had any, were involved. On the other hand, after six years of Dmitri checking with Gwen or Jack for her official schedule of responsibilities before any time she asked her out, she really should have expected this.

"Yeah, his exact words were something along the lines of 'am I really the one you should be asking about this?', which I took as tacit approval," she says. "So what do you say, la mia lezione bella? You'd make a great mother."

Tosh sets the ice cream down carefully next to the folder. "Dmitri," she says, trying for stern and making it two-thirds of the way there from bewildered. "Don't you think something like this requires more thought than you're putting into it?"

Dmitri laughs, tapping on the folder. "Oh, waveform analysis of my heart. The adoption brochures and legal information make up about thirty-five pages of that. The rest is what I think you'll find a very considerately-structured rationale. I've got time to go through it if you do."

Tosh is not sure what to say to that.

Eight months later, listening to Dmitri read the Principia Mathematica over a crib in the Kashtta nursery, she's still not entirely sure when she agreed.
gotbottle: (amused)

[personal profile] gotbottle 2009-04-20 08:40 pm (UTC)(link)
*raises hand* For Jack and Rachel, if you please.

And I am happy to reciprocate, if you like. Remind me to link you to a list of my muses when I am not sneaking into the internet during lunch. :D
nowinprint: (Umwhat.)

[personal profile] nowinprint 2009-04-20 09:01 pm (UTC)(link)
[livejournal.com profile] nowinprint/[livejournal.com profile] sarkraticmethod

"I'm going to give you three seconds to redo those tests before I start punching you in the stomach and don't stop," Dmitri says, breaking the silence over the Torchwood board table and causing Jack to very quickly hide an amused grin in his cup of coffee. Owen, standing by the screen which is still scrolling genome analyses, looks about as impressed as one would expect given the volume of those threats he receives.

"Margin of error's about two percent," he says. "Pretty conclusive, I'd say. In some universe, you two–" he flips out his index fingers, singling out Dmitri and Sark at the table, "Had a baby!"

The level of excitement he shows at that – and this is probably intentional – is inversely proportionate to how appropriate that excitement is. Gwen shoots him a look, and Jack tries not to chortle his coffee. Dmitri, meanwhile, is watching Owen like she'd like to turn into a raven and peck a hole in his silly skull, whereas Sark is wearing the expression of a tiger shifter who, though he has no fur at the moment, really thinks his shoulder ruff needs a good cleaning.

"And then she wandered through the Rift," Owen continues, shaking his head in mock chastisement. "You really should learn to keep an eye on these."

The three-year-old playing with pick-up-sticks at the head of the table looks up at Owen, looks back at Sark, and waves a yellow stick at him before going back to playing awkwardly in this room full of adults.

"Okay," Dmitri says, voice just barely warmer than a superconductor, "letting aside how and in what universe that makes more sense than a screen door on a space station, what are we supposed to do with her now?"

Owen shrugs. He just gene-tests these things. Like he's got any idea what to do with children.

"We obviously can't require you to take care of her," Gwen says evenly, though whether she's speaking out of deference to their individual desires not to be parents or out of concern for the child's emotional wellbeing is unclear. "Gladys has been keeping a database of parents who have been separated from their children by the Rift. We can find someone to place her with." She gives them each a pointed look. "But it might help the adjustment if both of you were willing to spend some time with her, ease her through the transition..."

"'s okay," the child says, sorting out the green sticks with a single-minded focus. "Doan want to prenent a in-con-ven-ience."

Sark visibly winces. Dmitri just stares.

Gwen fixes them both with an accusing look. "I don't think it will be an inconvenience. Either of you?"

"...no," Dmitri forces out through clenched teeth.

Sark resists the urge to bring a hand to his forehead. "Not. At. All."

[identity profile] sarkraticmethod.livejournal.com 2009-04-20 09:07 pm (UTC)(link)
*DED. SO DED* I can't stop giggling at that... Just.. DMI. *squishes her* And Jack's reaction is so utterly adorable.

Oh my God, THAT KID IS SO CUTE. I DON'T EVEN LIKE KIDS, BUT RANDOM ALTERNATE UNIVERSE DMITRI/SARK!BABY IS LIKE THE CUTEST THING EVER.
ext_25002: The TARDIS on the Plass, in front of the Millennium Centre (DW*10: Ancient and forever)

[identity profile] allfireburns.livejournal.com 2009-04-20 09:56 pm (UTC)(link)
*Gleefits* DMITRI. *Gleebounce* I missed Dmitri so much lately. And her and Tosh. And just... yes. So much love. Also, "waveform analysis of my heart" is quite possibly the best pet name ever. You know, until Dmitri hits on a new one that's EVEN BETTER.

Thank you. ♥
nowinprint: (Let's talk quantum physics)

[personal profile] nowinprint 2009-04-20 10:12 pm (UTC)(link)
That kid is going to be structuring all her arguments in Ciceronean style by the time she's seven, I swear. And she's going to be one of those kids who's in college by the time she's thirteen.

It'll almost make up for the boatload of emotional issues. Really.
nowinprint: (I know something you don't know...)

[personal profile] nowinprint 2009-04-20 10:15 pm (UTC)(link)
The other two were "Fruit of my happy tree" and "my beautiful lesson". Dmitri is weird.

(And she and Tosh are just too much of the good. One day they're going to have that sex and quantum physics night, and Jack will be unsure, if he ever hears about it, whether they're doing something very wrong or very right.)

[identity profile] kawaiispinel.livejournal.com 2009-04-20 10:15 pm (UTC)(link)
SERIOUSLY. The child of a prodigy and an Angel of Knowledge is a scary, scary thing on an intellectual scale.

...God, that kid will be Tosh 2.0, won't she?

[identity profile] der-weevilkonig.livejournal.com 2009-04-21 03:25 am (UTC)(link)
OWEN DOES NOT WANT.
gotbottle: (from above)

[personal profile] gotbottle 2009-04-21 03:57 am (UTC)(link)
I just. I'm in awe. This was amazingly well-written, very vivid, very touching. I admit it--I got teary-eyed. Poor Jack.

Also, you did a fantastic job capturing Rachel. Very well done! :)

Thank you so much for writing this. I loved it.

[identity profile] pplrunincircles.livejournal.com 2009-04-21 04:55 am (UTC)(link)
[livejournal.com profile] hey_capn_jack/[livejournal.com profile] calicoway
[livejournal.com profile] hey_capn_jack/[livejournal.com profile] smithnjones
[livejournal.com profile] homoraptor/[livejournal.com profile] sensi_doctor
[livejournal.com profile] riversodeep/[livejournal.com profile] aint_nosurprise
[livejournal.com profile] cleverblasphemy/[livejournal.com profile] calicoway

You has so many options. :D Pick your choice or choices! I am always excited to see Magi writing!
storyinmypocket: ([btr] FUCKING THANE)

[personal profile] storyinmypocket 2009-04-21 06:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Alternate suggestions include (just because I keep thinking of people to throw together and the probable hilarity there):

[livejournal.com profile] homoraptor/[livejournal.com profile] wineandvenom
[livejournal.com profile] riversodeep/[livejournal.com profile] twdenmother
[livejournal.com profile] sevendoc/[livejournal.com profile] quiteunexpected

Oh, the options you have. :P

[identity profile] varymydays.livejournal.com 2009-04-28 12:20 am (UTC)(link)
:D *FLAILS ABOUT AND SQUEES*

ZOMG. This was so much love. SO very amusing, and yes. It made me very happy. :) Hehehee!

I think you captured everyone perfectly, and I love that she named the kids after her siblings. It's definitely something that she would do.

The house took longer, mostly because the Doctor refused to admit to its existence, and the idea of family in the sense of raising children took a few years to take hold. But when it did, it took hold with both hands and a vengeance.

That is my favorite line. ^^ It's- yeah, I loved the way that that was worded.
superiorspectre: (|shadow - ickle)

[personal profile] superiorspectre 2009-04-28 01:58 am (UTC)(link)
Words can't describe how much I love this fic. It's amazing, in a painful, horrible way.

I don't really have words, but thanks for this.