[MEME] And then there were children.

[eelseason]

Stolen from the internet.

Leave a comment and I will come up with the hypothetical kid between any of my muses (List BTR) (List Epic) and any of yours (assuming I know them at least well enough to pretend that I know them well enough to write them). Terms of parent-child relationship are left to the management. Children may be biological and natural, in-vitro, adopted, surrogate, changechildren, left on a doorstep in a handbasket, or pretty much whatever needs to happen. Any requests for children parented by john_thane will incur a karmic penality. Memes are not intended to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease. This contract is not canonicity-binding.

Comments

[sarkraticmethod.livejournal.com]

nowinprint/nowherexboy
soldatceryi/ornobodywill
der_weevilkonig
nowinprint/sarkraticmethod

I like giving options! Options are fun, even if some of them are full of WHAT?

[eelseason]

...Owen just gets parthenogenesis?

[kawaiispinel.livejournal.com]

...That was supposed to be neverinportland, but Juliet probably COULD figure out how to make that happen. She impregnated male mice. I don't trust her with a proper lab and a vendetta.

[der-weevilkonig.livejournal.com]

OWEN DOES NOT WANT.

[nowinprint]

nowinprint/sarkraticmethod

"I'm going to give you three seconds to redo those tests before I start punching you in the stomach and don't stop," Dmitri says, breaking the silence over the Torchwood board table and causing Jack to very quickly hide an amused grin in his cup of coffee. Owen, standing by the screen which is still scrolling genome analyses, looks about as impressed as one would expect given the volume of those threats he receives.

"Margin of error's about two percent," he says. "Pretty conclusive, I'd say. In some universe, you two–" he flips out his index fingers, singling out Dmitri and Sark at the table, "Had a baby!"

The level of excitement he shows at that – and this is probably intentional – is inversely proportionate to how appropriate that excitement is. Gwen shoots him a look, and Jack tries not to chortle his coffee. Dmitri, meanwhile, is watching Owen like she'd like to turn into a raven and peck a hole in his silly skull, whereas Sark is wearing the expression of a tiger shifter who, though he has no fur at the moment, really thinks his shoulder ruff needs a good cleaning.

"And then she wandered through the Rift," Owen continues, shaking his head in mock chastisement. "You really should learn to keep an eye on these."

The three-year-old playing with pick-up-sticks at the head of the table looks up at Owen, looks back at Sark, and waves a yellow stick at him before going back to playing awkwardly in this room full of adults.

"Okay," Dmitri says, voice just barely warmer than a superconductor, "letting aside how and in what universe that makes more sense than a screen door on a space station, what are we supposed to do with her now?"

Owen shrugs. He just gene-tests these things. Like he's got any idea what to do with children.

"We obviously can't require you to take care of her," Gwen says evenly, though whether she's speaking out of deference to their individual desires not to be parents or out of concern for the child's emotional wellbeing is unclear. "Gladys has been keeping a database of parents who have been separated from their children by the Rift. We can find someone to place her with." She gives them each a pointed look. "But it might help the adjustment if both of you were willing to spend some time with her, ease her through the transition..."

"'s okay," the child says, sorting out the green sticks with a single-minded focus. "Doan want to prenent a in-con-ven-ience."

Sark visibly winces. Dmitri just stares.

Gwen fixes them both with an accusing look. "I don't think it will be an inconvenience. Either of you?"

"...no," Dmitri forces out through clenched teeth.

Sark resists the urge to bring a hand to his forehead. "Not. At. All."

[sarkraticmethod.livejournal.com]

*DED. SO DED* I can't stop giggling at that... Just.. DMI. *squishes her* And Jack's reaction is so utterly adorable.

Oh my God, THAT KID IS SO CUTE. I DON'T EVEN LIKE KIDS, BUT RANDOM ALTERNATE UNIVERSE DMITRI/SARK!BABY IS LIKE THE CUTEST THING EVER.

[nowinprint]

That kid is going to be structuring all her arguments in Ciceronean style by the time she's seven, I swear. And she's going to be one of those kids who's in college by the time she's thirteen.

It'll almost make up for the boatload of emotional issues. Really.

[kawaiispinel.livejournal.com]

SERIOUSLY. The child of a prodigy and an Angel of Knowledge is a scary, scary thing on an intellectual scale.

...God, that kid will be Tosh 2.0, won't she?